I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
