The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
