Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
