he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
