Swine flu. Run for my life!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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