If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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