He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
