Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
