Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
