There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
