Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
