And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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