Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
