as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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