Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
