3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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