"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
