those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
