My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
