the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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