just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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