If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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