Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
