she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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