He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
