Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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