dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
