hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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