I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
