Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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