I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
