Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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