No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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