I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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