Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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