everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
