awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
