I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
