So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize