I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize