This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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