rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
