I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
