i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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