STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
