i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
