cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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