I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
