there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
