I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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