I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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