Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
