So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
