Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
